A creative essay…
The moment I decide to start trail running is around 4:51 pm on a Friday, my body tepid from four hours of sleep and sunset crawling over the horizon by the minute. Armed with a muddy pair of tennis shoes and no headlamp, I set off for Griffith Park after work, promising myself that, no matter what, I would not slow my pace below a run for the entirety of the six-mile trail.
* *
Steady your breathing; find a rhythm. My insides fill with phlegm, and I find myself hacking up mucus jello and narrowly missing tourists at the observatory as I spit out what feels like a tonsil into the parking lot. It eviscerates my lungs.
I allow myself to devolve into a messy animal, monkey mind swirling in obscure thoughts as the pounding of my sneakers begins to settle against the ragged in and out of my breath. “1, 2, 3… crunch, step, crunch,” is all I can focus on to avoid the unbearable feeling that my chest is not large enough to hold all the air my hungry flesh desires.
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I shake myself off, determined to keep my head high and my heart rate up. My palms sting as though exfoliated by iron wool, but I press onward, feeling stronger than ever as I throw my mind back into my breathing and shut out the pain.
As my pulse soars, my overactive imagination begins swimming in fears of redlining or not being able to breathe. Determined to keep the pace at a canter, I hone in on the myriad of tiny things my insides are adjusting to keep me alive and moving forward. The phlegm clears up, my breathing deepens, and my eyes adjust to the cool wash of moonlight rising over the cityscape.
Something about throwing my body into the firestorm of uphill running on the uneven ground sends my nerves to war and forces me to surrender in a way I haven’t before. My face contorts as my body struggles to maintain an embarrassingly slow jog up the slanted beginning of the fire road. There are moments when I am tempted to stop and take a breather after cresting the last sprint up a steep slope, but I fling the gravity of my determination out front, praying my body will magnetize to it and keep moving. It feels incredible.
Once my legs readjust to a more even incline, I feel a surge of power commingled with peace, as though my body is an engine finally revving up at the sight of the open road. I smile, breathing a sigh of relief as I float above the rocky path on gnarled soles of rubber.
To run is to sit firmly in the seat of your power, but only after pummeling your organs and your expectations and your ego with the mirror-clear reflection of what your limitations are. Running activates your solar plexus, your source of inner motivation and self-esteem. It shocks your system and forces your body into a new normal with the weight of its fire.
I feel like I have finally found something that will best me on even my most self-destructive days. I am hooked.
Emily Pennington (also known as the Brazen Backpacker) is an adventurer, solo traveller, mountaineer, quote collector, and all-around lover of things that get people out of their comfort zones. She lives in Los Angeles, California, USA.
Put on her first international flight at 3 months old, she’s been adventuring in one way or another ever since! From wandering the forests of Sweden alone at the age of nine, taking photos of faeries, to solo trekking in the Himalayas of India, to joining the circus as a professional aerialist, Emily is a big fan of the “just get out there and do it” mentality.
She considers it her mission in life to inspire others to go outside, travel, and get curious about everything. As John Muir aptly put it, “going out is really going in.”
- Emily Penningtonhttps://www.campingforwomen.com/author/emily-pennington/
- Emily Penningtonhttps://www.campingforwomen.com/author/emily-pennington/
- Emily Penningtonhttps://www.campingforwomen.com/author/emily-pennington/
- Emily Penningtonhttps://www.campingforwomen.com/author/emily-pennington/
- Emily Penningtonhttps://www.campingforwomen.com/author/emily-pennington/
- Emily Penningtonhttps://www.campingforwomen.com/author/emily-pennington/
I think it is great that you have found this outlet for your energy. I’m sure you will have the discipline to continue doing it day after day.
I run about once a week in conjunction with a hardcore mountaineer training program I’m doing!
You have such a way with words. This was really captivating! I used to love running. To only think about my feet hitting the pavement and nothing else but its been years since it happened.
Do you still run? I find that running in nature is so much more freeing than running in the city!
I wish I could love running as much as you do! You make it sound sound fulfilling and rewarding! I haven’t done it in so long, I need to get inspired!
There are definitely mornings where I don’t love it, but I always feel SOOO much better if I just suck it up and do it! 🙂
I love that you found something that you can do to keep your mind moving forward and to tell it in this type of story format was really inspiring. I found myself wanted to continue reading more. Lovely post, keep up the great work!
I’m hooked reading your story from start to finish. I love how you detailed your experience. I can picture out your experience just reading it.
Thank you! It was a very visceral experience for me too. I’m now running longer distances!
That’s awesome that yo’ve found something you love. I have seen others come to love running too. It’s definitely full of benefits..
It is for sure! Waking up early to do it can be hard, but the feeling afterwards is amazing.
I love the detail and the language you use to evoke your experience running! You would make a great novelist or memoir writer. Keep up the good work!
Good for you! You’re such a good story teller. I recently started going for long hikes, and I absolutely love it!
I love long hikes too! I’ve had a few weekends where I pushed 25 mile days!
What a remarkable and triumphant experience! I admire how you endured the challenges that come along with running. It makes me feel differently about running as a workout.
It’s definitely a struggle at first. My throat still burns sometimes if I run too quickly uphill!
Love the detail and vivid imagination! Nice piece!
Much appreciated! I wanted to make this one different than my usual writing style!
Nice job! That incline is no joke (I’ve driven it, never ran it, lol) The view is amazing though! Awesome!
Yes! Even just hiking in Griffith Park can get me out of breath sometimes. 🙂
You describe your experience so vividly! You really make running sound like an amazing activity that is good for the whole body and soul.
I think it’s important to endure difficult, physical experiences. Better for strong souls!
This is an awesome piece of writing. You use such vivid imagery I Can’t decide if it makes me even more afraid of running or excited and inspired to run!
I’m glad you’ve found it to be your thing though.
Haha I’m still afraid of running sometimes! But I make sure to go out for a long one and challenge myself every week, plus tons of long distance hiking and yoga!